Tuesday, August 31, 2010

My first followup since surgery

I was going to wait until tomorrow to post because it would be my 2 weeks...but I had my first post-op appointment today.  I weighed in at 275 pounds.  My starting weight was 297 pounds.  OMG!!! I am 22 pounds down and I have my TOM right now....so I could be retaining a little too!!!  I am wearing pants that I have not been able to put on in 3 or 4 years.

I look in the mirror and I guess it is way too soon for me to see anything...but the proof is in the smaller clothing.  I have this really cute pair of capris that I bought a few years ago on clearance and I figured one day I would be able to wear them.  Less than 4 weeks ago I could not even bring both halves of the zipper together to zip them up.  This past Saturday, I tried them on and they zipped right up.  I really need to stay up on my measurements.  I think that is where it is really going to be real for me until I get more weight off because like I said, I am just not seeing it in the mirror.

I have been cleared for my "forever" diet aka solids.  YAY!

From here on I am going to make weekly posts only because I think I am so darn boring.  But, if anything exciting or notable happens, then I will be sure to make posts in between.  Thanks for being a part of my journey.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

8 days post-op

I mean to post yesterday for my 1 week, but I just got so busy.  I wanted to say that I am pretty much over the gas...finally.  I was not able to walk much the first few days because of heat or rain.  On Monday, my husband went with me and we went on an evening stroll for about 1-1/2 miles.  The next morning I went to WalMart and walked around for about an hour.   It is really, really, really important to walk in the beginning to help get that gas out.  I am so serious...one day, the pain in my shoulder was so bad that it was near paralyzing.  I was stuck straight in pain.  I am glad to be pretty much over that.

I have lost 5 pounds since surgery.  I am now a total of 15 pounds down which I am really pleased about.

I was surfing the net the other day.  I came across the This is why you're fat website.  Sadly, I would eat these foods if I was not banded.  I know I would.  And it wouldn't be just a taste.  I would be going for broke, sopping the plate dry.  I did not always have a problem with portion control.  It started with my first pregnancy.  I took the whole "eating for 2" too literally.  I know I can't eat like this now.  I longed for many years to not to be so hungry and now I'm not.  Before, I could not watch the food network or look through a Schwans catalog without going to the pantry for an accompanying snack.  I haven't had that problem.  Of course, I am still in the early stages of healing.  But, I know my life is different now.  I am so happy I did this.  I am happy to be banded.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

named my band

I didn't think I was going to but I see so many people have.  I have decided to call my band PITA.  PITA is a true Patriot In These Abs...marching me on to fat-free freedom, singing that cadence and keeping me in step, and together we will whip this body into shape, into the GI Jane I was when I was in the Air Force twenty something years ago.  PITA is a true supporter of the mission.

I do expect that along the way that PITA will be a true Pain In The A$$ from time to time but we will work through it together.

Describe your PITA.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

please pass the gas

I am so ready to be through with the gas pain.  Day 1 and 2, I was able to get some little burps out and it gave minor relief.  Day 3, I had a nice long toot.  It was like the cap of my bicycle tire was unscrewed and I had a nice slow leak for nearly 30 seconds.  Awwww.  It was great.  Unfortunately, the gas didn't stop there.  (I thought I was done).

I am a discreet farter.  It's just the way I was brought up.  The whole girls don't fart or they don't let anyone hear them fart.  My husband has never heard me pass gas and I have known him since the end of 1996.  As a matter of fact, I think up until around 2005, he thought I never had gas at all.  I think it's kinda funny that he really thought that I never get gassy or at least that's his story.

SOOOOO....this gas thing is really giving me double problems because I am in such pain plus I have this whole mental thing of I can't release it around anyone.  My husband says it's okay....but I just can't do it.  I don't know if it has now become stage fright or what.  I just find that I am getting a better release when I go into the other room with some privacy.

I will be so happy when the gas is all over with.  I expect maybe a few more days.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Banded. YES!

Thank you all for the kind thoughts and well wishes.  I was banded yesterday, but due to some minor difficulties in recovery, they opted to keep me over night for observation.

I knew there would be discomfort afterwards, but for me, it is more than I expected. (and I have had 5 kids and generally tolerate pain rather well)

I'm glad to finally be on the other side.

Edited to add that I was discharged this morning and my husband has taken time off to care for me.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Dear Diary, I've been really kinda scared

I haven't posted in several days.  I have been back and forth about this whole banding thing.  Am I doing the right thing?  Did I really try as hard as I could?  Pre-op diet has gone so well, can't I just be a pre-opper for life?  And I've been feeling scared about the actual procedure.  Could I really die if I do this?  Do I trust the hands involved in this procedure?

Of course I thought about this all before I even made my decision to get banded but as the days have been getting closer these thoughts have been coming back and putting a real fear into me.  I have cried tears over the past several days struggling with this and I can't believe I even almost made the call to cancel my surgery.  I've really had to do some soul searching and finally just turned this all over to Jesus.  I am at a calm about this now.

I am doing the right thing.
I did really try.
Sure, I could do a pre-opper diet, maybe even for life, but where is the rehabilitation in that?
Yes, I can die...but I can die if I don't do this.
Do I trust the hands of my surgeon?  I trust Jesus to touch the hands of those that will be performing this procedure.  I know I will be okay.

Am I really scared because I have been stuck with this addiction for so long?  It is an addiction.  This whole food thing.  Everything about it.  The compulsive pattern of eating.  Because of my addiction, I spent the ages of 20-41 as an overweight to severely obese adult.  I have never really enjoyed these years.  I have been miserably fat.  I am ready to not be stuck in this cycle of fat and diets that have not worked for me.  I am ready to make a life style change....A LIFE STYLE CHANGE.

So, I am going into this tomorrow finally ready.  I'm not afraid.  NOT AFRAID.  And I adopt this song "Not Afraid" by Eminem as my anthem.  It's about addiction and rehabilitation.  I have found it uplifting to me as I think about this awesome change that is about to happen.

To everyone else that is about to make this change, I am happy to be amongst them.  We are really doing a positive thing for ourselves.  For those that are already on the road ahead of me...kudos to them.  I can't wait to get to where they are.

Thank you Diary....

Sunday, August 8, 2010

butt kicking work out

Okay...my husband does P90X.  He's in the Air Force, so he's already physically fit.  He was looking for something to give him tone and definition.  He has told me on several occasions that I could feel free to use the DVDs anytime I wanted.  Well...this morning, he walked into my office (I work from home) and he said to me that he was going to get ready to work out and asked if I would like to join him.  This is the first time that he has ever offered.  Now, I know I just said a couple of days ago that I was not strong enough to do this, but I figured what the heck...I'll just do my best.

His workout today was shoulders, chest, and triceps followed by an ab workout.  I the first workout is 55 min and I did 30 minutes to my best ability and I gave my best attempt to the whole 20 minutes of ab workout.  He was really proud of me and I was proud of myself too.  Mind you...I did very modified versions, but I did them with my best effort.  It was a good morning.

Oh...my scale told me this morning that I was another pound down.  I love my scale.  She's been kind lately.  With this 1 pound down, I am now 289.  I think I already need to re-assess my goals.  That was way too easy and came way too quickly.  I mean...it was really a given that I was going to get out of the 290s.  August 18th!!! get here already.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

weighed in this morning

This morning I weighed 290 pounds.  I am 7 pounds down since Monday.  I'm getting my liver ready for the big day.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Exercise and what I am doing.

Well, I just got done working out a little while ago.  I have an elliptical machine, but I am mildly bored with that for now.  About 3 weeks ago, I bought another new workout DVD and I like this one.  Now I'm a big girl...too close for comfort to 300 pounds.  However, I am otherwise healthy and pretty strong, so I didn't want a "Sweating to the oldies" type dvd,  but I am too weak for P90X.  I bought the Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout and I really like it.  It offers me a good challenge.  When I started the dvd, I was doing all the modified exercises...but now....I am stepping it up on a lot of them and I have recently done an actual jumping jack.  Do you know how hard it is to get nearly 300 pounds of mass airborne (including huge floppy boobs)?  I'm sure I'll get some "yeses."   This was a big feat for me and believe me...I was crying tears of joy.  My 12 year old asked why I was crying and I told her it was because I did a jumping jack.  It wasn't as big of a deal to her, but she is only 12 and athletic.  Anyways...I just wanted to share what I am currently doing for exercise.  I know it will change along the way...but it is my "right now" exercise.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The real day one pre-op diet

It went so well today as far as pre-op diets can go.  I am so happy today.  I've figured out the most perfect protein drink "for me."  I just feel really good and uplifted.  I posted my stats today. (blech)  You can find them at the bottom.

I e-mailed my surgeon about single-incision gastric banding surgery.  He e-mailed me back and told me that they do not do it.  Oh well, probably best.  Do I really want to give them that challenge?  (everything into one incision) Nah.  Otherwise, everything is pretty uneventful.

I've been messing around with my site.  I have yet to find a background that I really like.  I guess I will stick with this one for now.  Thanks for following me!

That's it for now!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I know...I already posted today

but this is just a quick update on today.

I found today to be much harder than yesterday.  I don't know if it was because I was just gung ho yesterday.  I want to stick to my pre-op diet and not waver from it at all.  Yesterday, I was spot on with my diet.  Thank goodness I started 2 days early.  I didn't do anything real bad today, but my "crazy" was making me think I was starving.  I broke down and added a serving of Progresso chicken noodle soup, which is not on the diet, but only 110 calories.  I'm not going to beat myself up over it, but I felt the need to make note of it.  I guess I am afraid of a small slip today and larger ones later on.

Thank you all. I'm already feeling the love.

I woke up this morning to a bunch of encouraging comments.  Thank you all so much.  I made it through day one of liquid pre-op diet and it wasn't that bad.  I think the thing that helped me the most is that my pre-op diet included a sample menu that even included times to have each thing.  I've decided to follow the sample menu as is which makes it a no brainer for me.  I don't want to make things any harder.

I work from home and I have 3 kids home with me right now.  I also have 2 kids (21 and 20) that are grown and a granddaughter that have moved to Colorado.  My kids at home are DD (Bubbles) 12, DS (Chi-Chi) 4, and DD almost 2 (Pumpkin Butter).  Nick names of course.  My 12 and 4 start school this Thursday, so it will just be me and Pumpkin Butter at home.

The thing I hate about working from home is that I have easy access to the pantry.  I found myself standing at the door of the pantry yesterday and just staring.  It isn't filled with that many bad things but it could use a whittling down.  I am going to work on that today.

I found my tape measure and will take my first measurements as that is the official first day of my pre-op diet.  I will take a new pics each time I take measurements.  I have also decided to vlog and I probably will start that the day before surgery.  How often do you guys get on the scale?  Honestly, I weigh daily but I am thinking that is a bad habit.

I guess this is all for now.  I may think of more stuff later.  I am really psyched right now and want to keep this energy.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Here I go

Okay.  So, I am supposed to start my pre-op diet this coming Wednesday (August 4th).  I don't like going cold turkey.  You guessed it.  I'm starting my pre-op today.  That gives me 2 days to adjust.  I guess I will start off with a little info on me.  I am a married stay-at-home, work-at-home mom.  I have a long road ahead of me to reach "My Skinny" through Lap Band, diet and exercise.

I went to my Lap Band education class on June 28th.  I had my psyche evaluation on ??? hmmm I cannot remember.  I'll have to look that up.  I had my nutrition class on July 20th.  My meeting with the surgeon on July 22nd.  I am scheduled for gastric banding on August 18th.  It has been a whirlwind.  I did not expect this to go as fast as it has.  The day I met my surgeon, I weighed in at GASP!  297 pounds.  I'm calling that my starting weight.

So what is my "skinny?"  Well, my ultimate "skinny" is somewhere around 150 pounds.  Let's just call it 150 and we'll make adjustments as needed.  Naturally, I have many mini goals along the way.  Using the BMI calculator at http://www.bmicalculator.org/ I show myself having a BMI of GASP! 46.5 and in the SEVERELY OBESE weight range.  Lovely! The next level down is MODERATELY OBESE with a weight of 223.  Well....that's not my first goal.  My first goal is to get out of the 290s.  I have touched 290 quite a few times and for some reason, I was not able to break the wall.  I have been in the 290s for the past 5 years.  And I have an all time high of 311 before delivery of my last baby in 2008.

It's official.  Goal #1.  Break the 290 pound barrier.  I expect to reach this during my pre-op diet.  Please encourage me.  I have been struggling with this for so long.
Goal #2.  Reach 275 pounds.  I was around this weight when I got married in 2002.
Goal #3.  250 pounds.  Gosh.  It feels like forever since I have been here.  I think this is a fair mini goal.
Goal #4.  Okay, I am back to the BMI calculator.  I think this a good spot to exit the SEVERELY OBESE weight range.  223 pound will put me at MODERATELY OBESE.
****decide on next set of goals****and decide on rewards for reaching my goals.

I've been toying with the idea of a vlog via youtube.  I'll let you know if I do it for sure.  I'm on the computer daily.  So, I intend to at least post here as often as possible.